A testimony of the Lord's patience, grace, miracles and faithfulness

I am briefly interrupting my current homeschooling series to bring you our testimony in the area of family planning. A quick disclaimer for those of you with delicate sensibilities, while I will certainly not be graphic, this is a talk on surgical means of birth control and their reversals. Consider yourselves forewarned.

Recently Amy and Kim have blogged on the topic of birth control. These, as you can well imagine, have sparked lively discussions. I, not being one to miss a lively discussion, have chimed in on both discussions and commented referring occasionally to our testimony in this area. I have been amazed at the outpouring of emails I have received asking me about our journey and how we arrived at our current convictions as well as broken hearted moms who have made birth control decisions they now regret.

It's a very fun story to tell so I thought I would offer our testimony in a hope that it will encourage those of you that have written, and maybe some who are struggling with similar decisions.

Way back many moons ago when Mr. P and I were still young whipper snappers, we had three beautiful children. After the birth of our third child and first son, Mr. P and I thought it would be a great idea for him to surgically end our ability to have more children. It seemed logical at the time. I was in school getting my Masters degree in education (way before our homeschooling days) and our family felt complete. About the time our boy was two years old, that old familiar 'baby fever' began to creep into my soul. I started to regret our decision but I just didn't see any solution to the situation. Mr. P was completely content with our three children and he had NO desire whatsoever to have more. I pined away over babies for about a year. I began to think about international adoption because I knew adoption was the only way we would ever have any more children. International adoption is very expensive! Like $30,000 and up expensive!

I thought about a reversal for Mr. P but 1) I knew there no way Mr. P would go for such an idea, 2) the cost of such a surgery was not something we could ever afford and 3) we didn't think it would work. Occasionally we talked about it, just in one of those 'what if', speculative sort of ways. Never did we seriously consider it. Months went by and life went on but still there was this small nagging desire for a baby. One day I happened to watch a medical show where a woman was giving birth. As the baby was being delivered, Mr. P came in and I told him that I would love nothing more than to experience that 'just one more time'.

Later that week, Mr. P - completely on his own - called and made an appointment with the same doctor that had done his original surgery so that we could get information on a reversal! Let me try and put into words what a miracle that was! For my dear husband to make such an appointment is one of the most 'unlike him' things he could ever do. The man can be clinging to life by a thread and he won't see a doctor. I have to drag him kicking and screaming anytime he sees a doctor. A doctor is not his favorite thing... and for something elective? Never. Until that day. Miracle #1!

We went to see the doctor. My favorite part of the visit was when he pulled his little spectacles down to the end of his nose and gave us that "You're kidding me, right?" look. OK, so that wasn't my favorite part. He told us the details of the surgery, what our chances were of success, and the cost. Wow. That cost meant surgery was out of the question. Then he casually said, "Check with your insurance. Sometimes it's covered." We thought that it would never be covered by our insurance. Our insurance didn't even like to cover basic antibiotics needed to cure a raging illness. Our insurance certainly wouldn't cover that! We called from our cell phone on the way home from the doctor's office. Our insurance covered the procedure 100%!! Miracle #2!

Once I heard those words, 'covered 100%', I knew that I would have another baby! The Lord just placed that assurance in my heart and I never doubted it for a minute! Mr. P had the procedure the next month and Hannah Banana was on her way six weeks later. We named her Hannah because "For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him" I Samuel 1:27 After Hannah was born, Mr. P was ready to have his original surgery redone. I was beginning in my own heart to understand what the Bible says about children as a blessing and we needed to welcome as many as the Lord would give us. Mr. P was no where near there yet. I begged him to put it off, to wait and consider, but he reminded me of my 'just one more time' promise and went forward with the surgery when Hannah was 6 months old. I grieved over that so very hard for weeks and weeks. But, the Lord was not through with us yet. When Hannah was 9 months old, I found out I was expecting little Cindy Lou! Miracle #3!

We had been given the 'all clear' on Mr. P's surgery, but the Lord in His sovereignty gave us one more baby. I considered her my special gift from the Lord in the midst of my grief. She is such a precious blessing to me! The Lord's hand was in it all. When Mr. P went back to see what had gone wrong with the surgery, they told him it was successful. They had no explanation as to why Cindy Lou happened. The Lord's sovereign will is the explanation.

I was perfectly content and so thankful for my children. I never discussed more children with Mr. P during the next several years. I knew there was not going to be any more children for us. I am so naive! Over that time, the Lord began to work in Mr. P's heart in many areas. One of those areas was handing over control of our family to the Lord. Mr. P was convicted over the sin of limiting our children and through an incredible series of events, Mr. P decided to seek a second reversal! Miracle #4!

We went back to the same doctors. They, of course, thought that we had lost our minds. Our chances of success this time around were slim. Mr. P was 41 and I was 39 at the time, not exactly spring chickens in the childbearing department. Once again our insurance, which was not the same policy as before, covered the procedure 100%. Miracle #5!

Mr. P had the surgery and we hoped for the best but decided to tell no one but a very intimate circle of friends that we knew would be praying for us. We didn't want to hear the condemnation from disapproving family and friends. They would certainly sign us up at the funny farm for our crazy antics! Two reversals, after all! It does sound a little crazy when you think about it, doesn't it? It's OK, you can admit it. We waited to share our news until I was expecting our little chubby cheeked Noah seven months later! Miracle #6!

The family and friends that don't share our convictions were surprisingly supportive and excited at our news! We heard only a few negative remarks. Miracle #7!

At this point we have finally learned that the Lord is the only One we want handling our family size. Children are a blessing of the Lord and we like blessings! My only regret is that we came to this understanding on the back side of our childbearing years. Oh, that we had understood this earlier! We always joke that we are in the Lord's remedial class of spiritual growth because we are rather slow learners! We are very thankful we have a longsuffering Lord and He has been more than patient with us. But, we finally did come to understand and we give the Lord all the glory for that!

The Lord has brought us so far in many areas. I could write a book on the difference in our lives 12 years ago when Mr. P had his very first surgery until now. The Lord has squeezed a lifetime of biblical understanding and conviction into these last twelve years and we are humbled and grateful to see His hand at work in our lives continually.

The more children we have, the better! If we have only six, the better as well! Now, you see, we realize the gift of children comes from the Lord and His sovereign will is where our hope and peace resides.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. Psalm 127: 3-5