I love to shock people. That may come as a surprise to those of you that know me as the demure, quiet, soft-spoken, dainty little flower that I am.
::crickets:: ::crickets::
No one sees me that way? Not even one of you? Ahem, moving right along.
This morning Hannah and Cindy had eye appointments. This is a rare occurrence because I am not one of those mothers that goes running off for those pesky yearly exams. I sometimes even wait two years between dental appointments. ~gasp~ I'm not a big fan of the poison fluoride and radiation to the head every six months, but that's just me.
Hannah was having her second ever eye exam and Cindy, her first. We've been to this eye doctor before when Hannah cut her cornea on the corner of her brother's spiral bound notebook when she was on the "winning" end of a tug-o-war. I use the term "winning" loosely here.
All went well for the first part of the exam and then we were in with the doctor as he was pronouncing them perfectly perfect at seeing things. This alone is no small miracle since their father has been blind as a bat since birth. I am certain there is at least one of my children walking around legally blind. It's a statistical certainty. It all started to go downhill right there in that exam room when he asked Cindy what grade she was going to be in this fall. Cindy stared at me blankly because we're "in school" right now and the fall means nothing to us. So, I saved her by answering him for her. Then he turned to Hannah and asked her what school she attends. Hannah told him we homeschool. He slowly turns to me with an uncomfortable chuckle and asked, "So, how's that working for you?" I smiled soooo sweetly and said, "Quite nicely, thank you for asking!" He dropped the subject like a red hot potato. It's rare these days to have someone react negatively, or even look at me twice, about homeschooling. It is so common that I think it's shocking to run into people that don't homeschool. I might live a sheltered life so take that into consideration.
As we were checking out, I asked the receptionist if I could make appointments for two more of my children.
"Two more?", she asked.
"Yes", I responded.
"You have two more in addition to Flibby, Cindy, and Hannah?"
"Why, yes. Actually I have three more than Flibby, Cindy and Hannah, but who's counting, right?"
~insert light hearted chuckle by me here~
~insert stare of horror and disbelief by receptionist here~
After a few awkward minutes of silence where the receptionist sat in a paralyzed state I can only assume was the early stage of shock, I decided to snap her out of it by explaining that I have six children and I stagger appointments like these because co-pays add up with six kids and two adults so it's easier to spread them out over a few weeks so that it's easier on my budget and...
"Are they ALL YOURS?!" (she snapped out of it)
"Yes they are. All mine."
"Do they all have the same last name?"
(Let me mention here that I get most irritated by the assumption that we are a "blended family" as though the only way anyone would be stupid enough to have this many children would be the blending of two divorced parents. Gag.)
"Yes, they all have the same last name and I gave physical birth to each and every one of them. One without benefit of an epidural due to my incompetent quack of a doctor at the time, I might add. And, they all have the same father, my husband to whom I have been married for 22 years come September."
(I thought it best to get the whole story out there for the poor dear lest she burst a blood vessel.)
"Well. OK then. That's great. Your next appointment is next Wednesday at 2:30. Thank you."
I am quite sure the poor girl had to go have a Coke. Possibly she even had to lie down with a cold cloth and count the ceiling tiles for a while. This concludes my day of shocking the general public with my GIGANTIC sized family. You'd have thought I walked in there with a nose ring. Next time I plan to bring every one of them in with me.
Visual impact and all.
I'm mischievous that way.
22 comments:
A nose ring wouldn't even be cause for a second look. You'd have to go in with a face full of them and a tattoo on your forehead.
I can kind of see at least a mild reaction. I mean, you gotta know that having six kids these days is...a bit outside the norm, right? :) I mean, unless you're one of those fertility-clinic moms with 4 or 6 or 8 all at once.
But homeschooling is getting to be more mainstream, I thought.
*shrug* Maybe he's out of the loop. :)
ROFL... your play by play always leaves me laughing.
Kris S
Yeah, Kaa. I forget sometimes that everyone doesn't have at least three or four kids. That's a teeny tiny family in my social circle. My good friend, Tracy, just had her 10th child a month ago. It always amuses me when people are shocked by my family. That happens more often than the homeschooling reaction. I almost NEVER get that anymore. I do get the usual jokes... 'Don't y'all have a TV'; 'Are y'all [insert religion known for not using birth control here]?'; and my personal favorite 'Don't you know what causes that?'
This girl was a tad over the top at her shock. Most people make fun of us. This girl looked at me like I had the plague. But, when you march to the beat of a different drummer (as we do in almost EVERYTHING!), you learn to go with it.
Hopefully (chuckling nervously), we are a good testimony to big families when we're out in public and maybe we'll encourage people to have some kids! :-D
Your post is funny;)
But that was so rude of both of them!
People need to learn to be quiet!
Lizzie
I'm waiting for a set of twins, and I haven't given up hope. Anyone who can have children like yours should have a dozen.
Love,
Nana
okay Angie, I DARE you to take Tracy's 9 kids AND your 6 with you the next time. You might just have to pick her up off of the floor. Make sure you have a defibrillator with you ;o)
Ha Ha! I know how you feel :-) My favorite comment, and I've gotten it twice, is "Are they all yours?". Of course I answer "Yes." Then I get "Are you sure???"
Here in Korea we are even more of an oddity than in the States. And you ought to see the looks our big honking American 15 passenger van gets on the road!
Ha! Y'all are funny!! They really weren't being rude, they were just reeling in their shock and trying to act nonchalant. Which I found quite amusing. ;-D
Nana, you aren't biased or anything, right?
I am hoping to make "them" stare at my brood in disbelief one day, too. ;)
I only have three and know I am blessed so much to have them - I would love to have more! People really do think I am strange to be going through surgery to have more when I already have one in high school. Some of us HAVE figured out what causes it and we just keep on...hee hee.
Stacey! Your surgery was a tubal reversal?? Do you know our story about our vasectomy reversals? (Well, not MY vasectomy reversals, but I guess you realized that! :-D) We need to talk reversals!! Our last three are reversal babies and we're still going strong. Though at the age of 43 I think I might be finished. But, only the Lord knows!
First let me tell you .
You are an inspiration. Those women can only hope to ever be as wonderful as you an your family.
You inspired me to finally take the leap and start homeschooling my kids...( im terrified) but dont let people like that even phase you my dea.
You simply put are a HERO.
Naany, nanny boo boo to them...lol
Trinity, Bless your heart!! What a sweet note! I'm thrilled to hear you're a new homeschooler!! You'll love it! If you ever want to talk homeschooling, drop me a line. It's one of my favorite subjects!
This is hilarious, and I can relate :D
That was so funny! At least it sounds like you handle it with humor! I am pregnant with number six. For some reason it seems like it is worse when you are pregnant than when you actually have the baby. We just went on vacation and we had lots of comments, stares and questions. One lady asked if I birthed them all. I told her yes and the same father! :>) One man asked my husband with a snicker, "Are they all yours?" When my husband said yes, he said, "And another on the way!?" I told my husband he should have said No, she is just fat! :>)
The sad part is that if you take your kids out in public--no matter how many of them you have--and they aren't screaming banshees dashing around like madfolk, running into people and causing a total ruckus, you're in the minority. :-/ The stories I could tell you....
It's funny how all my friends' kids are perfect and everyone else's kids are little terrors.
Not that I'm biased, of course. :)
Hilarious! I have thought about getting a button with my answer to the "are you done/having more?", which is, "We'll stop when we get an ugly one."
I have read your blog several times by way of Amy's Humblemusings.
I have ten kids, and homeschooled all of them for a time (mostly until high school), but ended up putting nine of them in school.
I used to get prickly (not exactly Christ-like behavior) by people (strangers) asking me questions like, "Are all those yours?" or "Same dad and mom?" However, as I reflect on that time, I realize that people weren't being rude, they were just curious. It IS an anomaly in our culture...three kids is considered a large family, by today's standard, but most people mean well.
As an aside, I'm interested in your disclaimer with regard to birthing your kids, particularly the part about the "quack doctor." I'm probably a whole lot older than you, but in my mom's day, it was routine to have a "saddle block" and be knocked out while giving birth. Then, in the 70's (I married young, but I was still alive during the 70's), the move was more toward "natural" childbirth. I had an epidural w/my first--but it was administered in the delivery room (I was so young that I didn't know that I could just hang w/it and deliver w/out an epidural), so I figured the next time around, I would go w/out any intervention. My third baby was born in the car on the way to the hospital, so that was as "natural" as you can get. The rest I did w/out epidurals, as well. BUT, the trend seems to have moved toward getting epidurals like when you're at a 4 or so.
Sorry to get off track, but I guess that I'm intrigued by how trends come and go--even with the birthing experience.
Cathy
Ha! Cathy, I'm an anomaly. While I am so back-to-basics, all natural, organic and simple living on practically everything else in my life, I am a die hard 'GIVE ME DRUGS!' medical interventionist to the max when it comes to birthing babies.
My babies come very fast and I've been induced every time until this last baby who actually gave us our much coveted 'midnight run' to the hospital... the whole while I'm gripping the armrest, not because the contractions were so horrible yet, but because I was panic stricken that I might be too late and miss my epidural! :-D
Anyway, with my third baby, I had a new doctor and I told him my babies come fast. He patted me on the leg and told me I wouldn't have the baby until late afternoon. The nurses would NOT give me my epidural until he said so and I had the baby at 11:30am delivered by the nurses without an epidural while he was meandering down the hall perturbed that I made him get up from his lunch. When he strolled in he made some crack about ladies having babies in the field without benefit of the doctor for centuries, to which my husband replied, "Yeah, and those ladies didn't PAY them either!"
Hate. That. Doctor.
Needless to say, I never used him again. Not even for my six weeks check up. Despise is not too strong a word. I now have a set of doctors that have delivered my last three who I love more than sliced bread!! They are the cream of the crop! They listen to me and administer my epidural BEFORE starting the induction. Why bother with those pesky contractions if you don't have to, I always say. :-D
I'm a wimp when it comes to pain. That's my only justification. Oh, and for other mothers [read: not me] they give the epidural at 4cm. Thankfully, they give it to me whenever I want it, and I generally want it the day before I go into labor! ;-)
You are so funny!! :-)
Ha Ha! I am with you on the whole epidural thing. I have had two natural births but only one by choice. After those experiences I asked for an epidural FIRST thing with Sara, but since it only took on one side (weird) I am going to pack a rubber hammer to knock myself out with for the next one!
...Yes I did have a reversal! We are so excited about the possibility. =D
We only have 3 right now (5, 2, and 7 months) and I get that stuff, so I can only imagine!
I hear:
"are they all yours?"
"wow you have your hands full"
"are they twins?" NO THEY ARE 18 MONTHS APART!
"I see an Oops."
"Did you want this many?"
"How do you go in public with them by yourself?"
I have decided that the same people who ask me these mindless none of their business questions are the same mindless individuals who are more conerned with popculture than they are with health care, the economy and elected a socialist.
Just my opinion in one long run on sentence!
Hi, I found your blog on Flooded Lizard Kingdom. Your post was funny but I must admit that I was annoyed by the recptionist's reaction. I do the same stagger appointment thing. Nice to meet you.
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