Top Ten Observations from this year's FABULOUS trip to Christmas Village

10. One can never own too many soy candles or too much soap.

9. Many mothers need to be introduced to the biblical principle known as the rod of correction.

8. Flattened glass bottles are all the decorative rage.

7. Christmas Village has very special bottled water that surely came straight from Juan Ponce de León's fountain of youth as it cost just slightly less than the Spanish royal jewels.

6. Anything is cute when it's covered with glitter and pine cones.

5. Double strollers take up the majority of the space in a spacious aisle.

4. A forty-something mother of six does NOT look ridiculous wearing a balloon reindeer hat.

3. Cashew brittle tastes better when eaten to the tune of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

2. When standing in a LONG line in the ladies' room, do not lean against the wall. You might accidently lean against the light switch and turn it off. If this happens, said ladies' room will be as dark as the deepest cave. You will also have a moment or two of trouble locating the microscopic button that turns back on the lights. When the lights do come on, you will be receiving cold aggravated stares from women who do not have any Christmas spirit. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

1. Cheese cut in the shape of a gingerbread man and covered in wax is a super cute Christmas present even if you don't know who you might give them to when you buy ten of them.